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my profile
thy blog owner
beeteng
I am happily married to my celebrity husband named joseph cheng 郑元畅. born on 29/01/90, i was brought up
by 2 wonderful parents and a lovely sister who showered me with uncontented love and care.i am blessed
to have my family members with me and i hope u are as contented and 幸福 as me.Smile always!!=)
Live life to the fullest like there's no tomorrow.
Cherish the present and hope for tomorrow
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Saturday, July 18, 2009
Title :
Time : 1:55 AM
yesterday some of our gers went to essential brew at holland v to have a mini belated birthday celebration for hui wen.. overall e night was fun and i enjoyed myself.. then pris and i went home earlier since we didn't felt like staying for too long.. we chatted as we walked to e bus stop. and e common test results became one of our topics nonetheless. i felt that i have really disappointed myself as well as my family members and teachers who have always expected from me. comparison may not be a wise thing to do when exam results comes into play.. but we would still do so unconsciously.. it may motivate us to strive for the better or create stress and make one feel more inferior.. and here i am in this state now..getting back exam papers may be a small matter but when e grades were not as what u have expected, u tend to be disappointed..
i admit that i have been lazy at times and always procrastinating..but i won't admit i haven't been putting in effort..e feeling of putting in effort but not getting what u want feels terrible.. i may not express it out but this is e gloomy feeling i have these few days.. some of my frens may feel it but others won't cos i didn't wan so many to know and worry them..
e impact of my grades really affected me quite a lot. it made me have e urge to jus excuse myself from coming to skul and repeating e same old routine over and over again..
i'm tired of waking up early in e morning and attend skul..
i jus need to be away from books and skul stuff..
i jus need some space to find back e usual optimism and motivation to study.. i dun need much concern, but jus space to regain e positive attitude.. so dun be surprised after knowing this, i'll be alright..
i'm jus using this medium to pacify my inner feelings.. sometimes thoughts have been running past me:am i not hardworking enough or am i not studying the right way that caused e bad results?
or am i jus not fated to do well?
ppl can get their As but why am i not getting that?
is it because of my own high expectations? peer pressure?
my frens are doing well but why am i always failing?
sometimes these questions are jus not answered..
i dunno why this feeling i'm feeling right now is so similar to e end of 2007 when i knew i had to retain.. and this feeling scares me but maybe it will subside away after a few days..
maybe some of the recent events that occurred made me feel so low..xhua leaving for australia, vanice's absence, etc..
thanks to my dear frens whom i have shared my sorrows to.. i feel much better now.. and i'll regain my motivated and optimistic self soon.. thanks..love ya always..=) and..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FION!!
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